This will be a quick one, but an update none the less, so I'm proud of myself. But, this being said, it's going to feel a little disconnected. Forgive me.

I'm doing it. I'm ordering my curriculum today. I'm so excited about this and after talking with the lady over the phone, who was oh so informative, I feel really supported.

I'm loving my little girl. She's the most content baby I've ever met. Seriously never cries. I know she's only 2 and a half weeks, and things can change, but she's just so snuggly and happy that this is all I'm going to remember.

Nik has some health issues that we're checking into and I'm having trouble trusting the Lord and His sovereignty. You could pray for all of us if you think of it.

Chip, Carson and Finn are doing great. Chip doesn't sleep. At all. And he doesn't eat. At all. I'm wondering how long he can keep up his stubbornness before getting wiped out. Needless to say, he's been a little bit of a tyrant lately.

Well, that's about it for now. Maybe one of these days I'll update our reno blog....funny stuff, I"ll tell ya.

It's been a while

Well, I have no where else to post this, so I might as well do it here.
The story of Amelia's birth....as told to me by Nik via blackberry note pad (he took notes, he will be in bold and I'll add in my thoughts in unbold beside)

Admitted 7:45 am put on monitor until midwife can consult with OB who's on call and get the 'go ahead' for an induction. I had a full hour to think of all the reasons not to go ahead with an induction so by the time she came back I was pretty sure I would chicken out. She dove in checked the ol' cervix (3-4 CM) and said, let's go...to which I said, ummmm NO. And we had a little chat. I said I really wasn't sure if I could go through with this and she laughed at me. And then she realized I was serious. So, we talked about waiting, but things were favourable for going ahead and waiting was not the better option. Then she suggested that we take a walk. So we did (but not before she did a good stretch and sweep. She did such a good job in fact, that she felt the cervix change from 4 to 5 CM...she's THAT good).

So we walked to the coffee shop and Nik got some coffee. We got back to the room and the OB came in to see where we were at with the induction (apparently to talk me into oxtyocin after having my water broken) but she came in to see that we hadn't even started yet. So she said to me that I had to make a decision because they had been very busy lately and would need the bed. So, I decided to go ahead with it considering all the factors involved and it was what my gut had been telling me to do...more on that later

9:55 am Water broke by Midwife this part was actually quite nice because she let me take some NO2 while she did it to calm myself down.
baby good first cramp 2 mins later
10:10 am going for a walk- contractions pick up a bit "feels just like with Chip" in hindsight these were pretty mild, I would call them cramps, but I knew they were the beginning of 'the real thing' because that's just what happens. I was pretty excited that things seemed to be going at a slower pace and that I could ease myself into hard labour rather than it going from nothing to transition.
10:14 contractions about 4-5 minutes apart
10:20 Dana finds the NO2 and convinces Nik to take a couple huffs - no effect this is what happens to a labouring couple who are left unattended.
10:35 baby Heart Rate 145 and D's BP 137/87 during a contraction - all good
10:50 took a walk, got a banana muffin, Dana took one bite, didn't want any more it was really dry
10:55 back in birthing room 7 (same room that Finn was born in)

11:37 difficulty talking through contraction - N applying pressure on lower back I was surprised that I was having back labour. Even though we knew the babe was posterior. I could still feel contractions in the front so it must have been a bit of both??
11:10 in room tough contraction, Dana doing well, no drugs this was probably the first contraction that felt like it was starting to get hard,
11:25 switched to sitting on birthing ball at bedside Amy wanted to monitor the baby through another contraction and that's when things started going crazy. I had a really hard contraction and Millie's heart rate dipped to below 100, I said, 'that's not good" and Amy confirmed that it wasn't that good. But, it went back up to normal, then she listened to two more contractions and the rate went to 60 and then back up.
11:37 - strong and long contraction Amy started running around acting a little frenzied and I started to get pretty worried. We went from a calm and relaxing environment where I felt like I was in total control to crazy people running around looking for IV's. She told me that we were going to need to monitor baby so I had to get on the bed. I laid on my side and basically stayed there the rest of the time. I was super uncomfortable and hated lying down but I was pretty scared by the looks on everyone's faces and the numbers on the screen that kept dipping so low. My midwife tried to start the IV (which she told me to today was a precaution in case they needed to do an emergency section) but after three tries she grabbed another nurse. This nurse also tried three times and finally my midwife told her that I'd be having the baby before they found a vein so the other nurse left. My midwife checked me and told me my cervix was completely gone, but...."oh wait, it's twisted somehow around the baby's head, so you're probably around 7 CM....oh, it's hard to say" So, in my head I went from fully dilated to 7...yes, that would be backwards. Anyways, this was a little before the other nurse went to town on my arm, so by the time she was finished, I guess I had dilated because I started pushing as soon as she left the room.
My midwife kept putting her hand in crevices and what not which really hurt so I kind of got mad, and then she got mad back and said she was trying to help the baby...which scared me, and really it was just scary scary. I guess Milly girl was twisted all up and not coming down properly so she was low enough to put pressure but twisted and I couldn't push her out and that coupled with the low heart rate made things stressful for the MW. I pushed about 4 times and wasn't getting anywhere, but then....THEN the craziest thing happened....my baby girl flipped over (Nik saw her head completely twist) I thought I had pushed her out because it physically felt like my lower parts had been ripped in two and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Except then another contraction came and I felt the most intense urge to push...so I did and out came her head, then on the next contraction out came the rest...she was here! We had a baby girl.

Nik's notes ended with these three points
12:30 ish - uhhhhhhh
12:50 - Baby GIRL!!!!!!!!
12:55 - placenta (cuz u wanted to know)

I hate that I didn't get to enjoy this labor and writing this all out has been extremely hard for some reason. I'm sure some of you will understand. This was probably the worst labor experience for me. I don't think it was the pain that made it so bad, it was the fear and uncontrollable-ness of the situation. I'm so thankful that we were in the hospital and we weren't at home because Amy would have taken us to the hospital anyways and I can only imagine how much worse it would have been to transfer from home to hospital without knowing what was going on. I think Jesus was holding all of us and got us through what seemed like the scariest moments of my life. I'm so thankful that my Amelia is here and is completely healthy and completely perfect.

Homeschooling.

If you are anything like me, you have a few preconceived ideas of what that word means. Up until about 6 months ago, it held very different connotations to me than what it does today. There's a certain stigma surrounding those 'homeschooled people'. Growing up, I always felt a little sorry for kids who didn't get to come to school (even though I begged my mom all through grade 6 to homeschool me. She said no, because we'd clash).

I think my husband and I have come to a decision to give homeschooling a try. I feel very convicted about it, at least in the early years. I would love to say that I will be doing it for the rest of my childrens' school-aged years, but I've learned that I am only capable of following through gracefully if I take things inch by inch.

I wanted to share some of our convictions and also some of our concerns. One thing that has become very apparent to us in the last four years is that life is short, and these boys are growing up so fast. Family and family time means a lot to us and from what I've heard and read, school takes a lot of the 'time' out of family. I also think that the first few years of school lean towards a feminine approach to schooling. Which is fine, but each of my kids learn completely differently and I could see them both thriving and deflating in a structured classroom setting.
We have also come to realize that Christian education is really important to us. Our kids are impressionable. Fact. I could get into all the different types of curriculum that I struggle with in the Public/Catholic system, but I think it's sufficient to say that biblically-based teaching is where we want to start our kids off. If we can build their foundation biblically, then hopefully, in the later years they will be able to make wise decision with discernment.

I do, however, have some reservations. My biggest one being that I don't think I can do it. My patience often leaves a lot to be desired and I have a hard time being disciplined and sticking to a schedule. Now, I know that one of the best parts of homeschooling is that you're not tied down to a schedule, but one of the funny things about me is that I need consistency in the things that I need to get done, or they won't get done at all. Also, there's the whole social aspect of homeschooling (a pretty huge discussion on its own).

I am also having a really hard time finding a curriculum. I know that I want it to be a little more structured and follow the Ontario curriculum a little more closely than most of the ones that I've been finding. (Like I said, I need structure) But, I also want it to be a Bible based curriculum. Any thoughts/ideas/resources???

I'm halfway there! Pretty crazy how fast the time has flown by. Tomorrow you will no longer see a '2' starting off the weeks to your right. Um, nothing else really new. Other than I went to LA but if you'd like to see more about that you can read www.fioritofoto.wordpress.com

I should maybe make this blog have some substance....maybe another day

I'm leaving tomorrow on a plane. I won't go into all the details of 'why' I'm scared. I think it would bore you. But, I'm frightened beyond words to step on a plane. Please pray, if you remember, tomorrow morning at 7 am (MN time, 8 am TBay time, 5 am BC time, and 6 am Calgary time). Pray for the peace that PASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING, pray for freedom from this prison of fear, pray for my heart...thank you.

Because Nik said he wants an update...

Have you ever asked yourself why people do the things that they do? Someone might do something that you can't even fathom as rational or remotely sane and I often find myself trying to go through all the things that could have possibly gone through their heads to try and rationalize what they've done/said. Well, this morning at 7:30 our doorbell rang. I had one of those moments as I heard my husband talking with our neighbour. We're not usually awake at 7:30, up until a few weeks ago, all of our kids slept until about 8:30/9:00. So, I was wondering why someone would think that it would be ok to ring our doorbell at such an early time. We're also painting the outside of our house and so I convinced myself that neghbo-roo was coming over to yell at us for our colour choice. And, as I was laying in bed I had conjured up a little argument if you will, about how I had chosen these colours to compliment the neighborhood and how we were going to dress it up with adding some plants and stuff and stuff and stuff...it went on and on. But then I heard Nik say to the boys, "look at our car" (calmly and I might even say a little excitedly as he thought this was quite a treat for them to see).

It was then that my mind babble stopped. I had hoped that someone ran into our unsellable gas guzzler and we'd have a write off on our hands. But then I vaguely started to remember my dream of a car alarm going off. I remember thinking, "that's our car" but not being able to wake up....anyways, long story short, someone smashed into our car. Talk about feeling safe where you live. When I went out to look at the damage I was immediately thrust back into one of those 'what were they thinking' mental situations. I've deduced that the perpetrator was probably drunk or high because they didn't take the cash that was on the dash, or the gps or the satellite radio receiver.

The po-po man thought it was kind of funny.


and here's a few pictures because I learned how to resize the files from 10 MB to a normal size...thank you Steve.

all about {baby}

So for those of you who took the hint in the last post (so subtle, wouldn't you say?) we're expecting again! This was an interesting turn of events from where we thought we'd be about now because we thought that our road was leading us to adopt our next baby. We were in the midst of an 11 week course getting prepared for adopting and had filled in all of our papers. For some reason we felt God kind of shut that door for now and open another. I've always known that I wanted a big family and it appears that we're well on our way to just that.

Here's the lo-down: I'm 12 weeks today.
Due October 21st, so that means October 31st (I will let them induce at 10 days this time...no more crazy 14!)
We're not finding out the sex, don't even ask...haha inside joke for some
I've gained 2 pounds, which is a plus for me, I'm usually down about 10 by now
I was super sick and then was introduced to diclectin which has made all the difference in the world. Other than falling asleep at random times and places.

That's pretty much all the info I know right now, I have another appointment with the midwives in two weeks so hopefully we'll hear a heart beat for the first time!

I wish I could give a more intellectually substantial post, but my brain is mush. Literally. I can barely hold a sentence/though in a conversation. Nik usually gets annoyed with me, poor chap.