new stage of life

As life-changing as I thought having a third child would be, it wasn't. It wasn't having an extra mouth to feed, bum to change, more laundry to do or even having another body to bathe. It was none of these things - it was the finality of naptime that has changed my life drastically. My three year old has decided that naps are overrated and he's not having one. For two weeks I struggled with the idea of not having some 'me' time, or deep cleaning time, or even my own nap time.

On Saturday I conceded. I was making him have his own quiet time in his bed, just so that I didn't have to give up what I had become accustomed to - how selfish of me. In the past few days, I've had to learn how to go to bed a little earlier, or get my cleaning done when dad gets home at night. My day is far busier and I feel a little out of control. Why is this so life altering? I'd take another newborn just to have my nap time back. I guess this shows me of how self centered I can be sometimes.

These were my thoughts until yesterday when I got some one on one time with the big guy. We made some Christmas taffy. I was able to do something that I wouldn't have necessarily done if his little bro had been awake, and I really enjoyed my time with him. Today we played a game for ages 3 and up. Tomorrow we're going to work on writing out some letters. I feel like maybe I'm getting a little bit of time with him that I *missed* out on because I had our kids so close together. I hope I get this with each one. Even if I've been acting a little grumpier these last few days because I'm not diciplined enough to go to bed at a reasonable hour:)