Happy Birthday

It seems like from the beginning of December to about the middle of February, the Fiorito house is a jumble of presents, birthday celebrations and happy parties. It's so much fun that we thought we'd add another par-tay into the mix this year. My good friend Jenni turned 29 and we wanted her to feel extra special so we had a little surprise planned. She loved it. Though, once or twice she let me know that her real birthday wasn't until the next day. Jenni, you are a truly beautiful girl full of God's grace and we, the Fiorito's, love you very much. PS next year I'll get you something Chuck Norris-ish.

Life has been busy and very full the past couple of weeks.
...

It's picture day here on the FOJ blog....hahaha

I thought it was high time for an update, except for a photo of Nik and I. Seriously, when will that ever happen? I'd really love a new look for it too, like some cool fonts for our names, but I can't figure that stuff out. Any takers? (read Beth Cain????) Totally joking.

Have a great day y'all.

Go here

yeah, I'm serious

Yesterday, I was visiting a very dear friend in the hospital who had exploratory surgery on a tumor in her neck. I came in just as the oncologist was talking with her.

The results aren't known yet and that particular doctor wanted a complete history and understanding of Beth so that when the results come in (and if they're positive for malignancy) then they'll be very prepared to start aggressive treatment right away.

This is a mother of 6 girls....! She has blessed me SO MUCH in the past year and a half. Her life has and love has spilled over into ours and my kids affectionately refer to her as 'Grandma Beth'. She's welcomed us into her family. But that's not all. She's raised 6 amazing women who have also welcomed us. I have been especially blessed by Melinda and Katherine. These two WOMEN OF GOD have shown me much, loved us greatly and are now hurting.

And, as she wrote (her surgery was in her throat so she couldn't talk post-op) about beth Moore's study 'believing God' that she's teaching at her church. She said she asked God to do anything it took to shake someone's world. And as she wrote it, she rolled her eyes, threw up her hands and I knew she understood. As Christians we're called to do much, to have faith and to believe. His plan is perfect. Beth knows that He's going to use her through this, even if it's just to show how strong her faith is with the unknown, and her thankfulness if everything is found out to be healthy.

I hope that if/WHEN God calls me to walk through something this hard(be it cancer, or a crazy adoption process, or losing a child), that I glorify God in the same way as these strong women of faith have done (and ARE DOING)

For the amount of people who read this blog I think I'm safe sharing this bit of info.

Chip is one...that usually means I'd be pregnant again. I'm not. And both Nik and I are itching for another. BUT, we're not sure how that 'other' beautiful, perfect precious sibling to our boys will come...

I have always felt the call to adoption; I have always thought that I would adopt. I've been on the phone a lot in the past few weeks with different agencies talking about different things. We in no way have the money to start the process. But, I got an email from a friend who's walking the journey through adoption and hers was such a story of trust. Financially, emotionally, Spiritually. I know finances aren't going to stop us from adopting if that's God's plan, but we just don't know if we should get the ball rolling?

My gut is saying that God is whispering "trust me, have patience and I will show you when" and most times I feel like He's saying look a little deeper, take a step further...you know? All this is to say, can you pray for us? Thanks.

364 days old

To my Charlie,
Tomorrow you will be 1. 1 year ago tomorrow I saw your face for the first time, felt your fingers wrap around mine and took in your crooked little toe. You took my breath away when you looked up at me from your little cocoon of darkness. November 6th was the day that changed me. Your brothers changed me too. But you awakened the joy that they had started. It wasn't until you came along that I realized how fast it all goes and how I shouldn't wish away the tantrums or the snot all over my pants, hands, cheek, knees etc. those snot infested places mean that someone had smooshed their face into me out of love...or joy.
You, my Chip, are going to do wonderful things. I've been told by more than two others that they've had dreams of you, serving the Lord. I couldn't ask for anything else, for any of you. But you seem to have always come to mind when I think of what God has called me, as a mother to do. To bring you three up to know the Fear of God and to be men of integrity.
I will dirty my knees everyday on yours and your brothers' behalf. I will do whatever I'm called as your mama. I love you, I know these words aren't much or they aren't eloquent, but they're your mom's love poured out to you, this day...on the eve of your first birthday. May you grow into a man that honours and brings glory to my God, your Creator.

House blogging will commence *hopefully* soon. There are a few small things to finish and then...dun dun dunnnnn, finito Fiorito.

Well anyways. Things have been busy here at the Fiorito house. Nothing too new other than having it feel a little more organized. The goal is November 6th. That's Chip's first birthday, so it'll be nice to be able to invite a few people over for that. June 30th to November 6th. Four months. Not bad. Is it bad that it felt like 4 years though?

Oh, ps. Any ideas on a good first birthday idea? WE've invited our family in the past (all 45 of them...) but I don't think that it's really an option any more. I was thinking of an open house from 2 - 6 or something along those lines. But then, when is food time with the token smash of cake by baby's one year old hand? Open to ideas!

Repreve

What a great weekend I just had. I love my boys. LOVE. But, sometimes we all need a little break from each other. This was made apparent when I walked in the door to a clean house, folded laundry a one year old who chose this weekend to start sleeping through the night, a two and a half year old who also chose this time away from mama to potty train himself, and to top it all off said two and a half year old is responding WAY better to his dear old hag of a mother.

I'm not sure if I was just needing the break or if they were, but either way, we are all in a better place.

It was so lovely to see Katherine Z-top and get to hug her little soul. I meant what I said to those friends of hers in that big Minneapolis city. They better take care of her! haha.

I should go, I hear a faint scream...usually means some biting has occured.

ok, I'm thinking of going in a different direction with this blog and calling it,'The Chronicles of 430 Ambrose'. I have so many stories from this place already that I don't even know where to begin. And I've become accutely aware of the fact that this house will 'never' be done. My husband is too much of a go-getter to just sit and enjoy this house. I'm fine with that. In fact, that's one of the things that I love about that man. There are a lot of things that I love about him, but I'll save that for another post.

And, speaking of not knowing where to start. That's why I've been on a sort of blogging hiatus. I just don't know where to pick up. I have had a million things happen this summer, good, bad and all things in between. I don't know where to start. So why don't we just say that the slate has been wiped clean and I can start fresh? I'll post stories of memories of course, but as far as catching (all 12) of you up on my life, I think that it'll just have to be glimpes every once in a while as a memory will come to me.

So, onto NEW things. Finn started his first day of hockey. I KNOW! I never thought I'd be one of *those* moms. I didn't think we'd start our children in anything organized until they were a little older, or even a lot older. But, as I've gotten to know my eldest a little more. I've realized his need for preparation and interaction. So, with the thought that he'll be starting school in the near future I thought we'd dapple in a world of instruction from an unknown and making new friends while he's at it.

He did so well. We were a little nervous when they told Nik that they had enough volunteers that day and wouldn't be needing him on the ice. This was after a week of telling Finn that his dad would be with him. In the end, it was better. Finn didn't cry once even though he was the only kid (out of about 50) that couldn't stand on his skates. The gal spent the whole time teaching him how to get up if he falls. He had a huge smile on his face, which of course put a huge smile on our faces. Even Carson was proud of him; throwing his fist in the air and yelling "awwww, he fell. Yeah! He got up!" in a growly voice.

This was a nice change from what I had been expecting. I had resigned myself to the fact that Finnley would shut right down if someone new started talking to him. We'll see if he continues to love it as much. But if yesterday was any indication, this is going to be fun!

I know, I know, 'bout time. I went on a whirlwind trip to Calgary to visit my grandparents, parents and brother. I drove with the boys, who did really well. I also had lots to say but my mom needs the computer....

I'm not doing this!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

BECAUSE I seriously love this blanket giveaway thingy, I had to write a not me...never have before, don't know if I will again...we'll see


I did not go to church yesterday to find out that we were a half an hour late, and did not proceed to bring the kids to the nursery. My oldest did not start a fit and we did not slip out the back door 5 minutes after we got there. We always go to church so I would never have done that!

I did not flip my underwear inside out after staying at a friends' house who was out of town with the kids. I always remember fresh unders and think it's disgusting to wear your knickers two days in a row.

And lastly, my style of writing does not look at all like mckmama's. I DON'T read her tweets and posts every day so I would NEVER start to sound like her!

hahaha

I have had a number of things on my mind lately. Actually, I've had so much on my mind and so much that I've wanted to blog about that I just stayed away for fear that my thoughts would be barfed out onto the computer screen for all to see, and probably for no one to understand. See what I mean?
So, here's one of them;

When Chip was about sex weeks old we got his hearing checked at his discharge visit with our midwives. This is standard for them, a little later than usual, but still the norm with all of their newborn patients. I didn't think anything of it, until my midwife, Amy, tested. Paused. Tested. Paused. Looked confused. Then retested again. "Have you noticed anything differentabout Charlie, Dana?" she asked.

That moment changed my perspective on a lot of things. I don't know if I'll ever be able to eloquently convey just how, though. So bear with me.

My head started violently spinning as I replayed literally hundreds of moments in his short life and not ONE of them included me being alarmed by his seeming inability to hear. That's probably what bothered me most in those first few moments. I was stunned as I stood there realizing that, no, he doesn't jolt at noises. No, he doesn't turn his head towards your voice or any other jingle or jangle either. How could I have missed that?

"Don't worry, sometimes this doesn't mean anything but he'll need further testing." I could tell Amy was trying to console me in some way. My fears must have been as transparent as the tears that were welling up in my eyes.

I went home with my mom who was with us. She tried to say a few things, but I didn't want to talk about it until I could talk with Nik. It was a long few hours until he got home. During that time I tried everything I could to get Chip to startle, jump, look at me when I called...anything. He didn't. What I had previously chalked up as 'a contented baby' now became vastly different. I was supposed to speak that night at a womens event at our church. I didn't. When Nik finally got home, he saw me holding our baby with tears pouring out. He knew that we had an appointment and I think he was a little freaked out. I told him what happened and was ready for him to laugh it off or roll his eyes like he usually does when I'm being too dramatic about something, but he didn't. He just took Chip from me and started speaking softly, "Charlie, it's daddy, I'm home" then a little louder, "Charlie, it's Daddy" a few more of these and finally a really loud "CHIP!" Still, he slept. Nik nervously turned half his lip down, you know, when people are, well nervous about something. He all but uncomfortably yanked his collar from his neck. I don't think either of us knew what to think.

I decided to go to the thing at the church. It was good, but I couldn't enjoy it. My mother-in-law was wondering why I was so teary and distant. That night I started singing to my baby. I didn't know if he could hear me or not. For all intents and purposes it seemed like he couldn't. I remember sobbing the lines of "Great is Thy Faithfulness" and the boys' made up song, "Don Don Shark"....I just wanted him to hear the words. It was a long two or three weeks before we could get other testing done. It was a lot of time spent in prayer. By the time the appointment came we were convinced that he was at least partially deaf. He really didn't respond to anything.

My appointment was at 1:00. I thought it was at 12:30, so I was there early. I ended up being called in late. It was 1:08. I know exactly because I looked at my phone right before she called us in. The entire test took less than a minute. The gal asked if there was a history of any related type deal-ios....so I told her about my partial deafness. Yes, I was born without an ear canal in my left ear and had to have a tube put in. They didn't find it for a few months. Anyways, she thought that maybe it could have been a genetic thing or whatever. So she does the test. And, we all know the results because if you know Chip (as most if not all of you do) you know, that he can hear. He was clear!

Now, the interesting thing is that she did some preliminary tests like clapping and clicking and yelling to which he didn't respond...at all. She was thinking there was some merit to that. Which is why she talked about the possibility of a genetic ear canal thing (which I'm not sure can even happen?). Anyways, fastforward a few hours. My Father IL calls and asks how things went and at what time the test was done. I said why? He told me that at 1:13 God told him to simply pray that Chip's ears would be open. (Take the chit-chat and preliminary tests into account and it very well could have been right before or as the test was being done)

I don't know if Chip wasn't able to hear before then. It sure seemed like he couldn't. But I choose to believe that God performed a miracle on Chippy that day.

He also worked on me a little too. You see, the thought of Chip not being able to hear was so umbearable to me. I was thinking about all that he would miss out on. Things that I love. Like music, or hearing people laugh. I was so sad for him. God kicked me in the butt through this whole ordeal. You see, even if Chip wouldn't have been able to hear, he would still be able to do the one thing that matters...Glorify God through worship, service, and a life lived for Him. That's all that should matter. That's all that this mama's heart should pray for.

And, pray I do. Every day for these little souls to fall in love with my God, my Abba, my Creator.

Sometimes, as I raise my voice at the boys I wish they couldn't hear me. The only voice I want them to really listen to is God's. And you don't need ears to hear it.

Pray for me, dear friends, that I would be a pleasing sound to God's ears.

I've been debating whether or not to change the title of this blog to "The chronicles of 430 Ambrose St. I have a plethera of tales and just as money (if not more) photos to go with them. We'll have to see if I can get my act together enough to write out the happenings and to ellaborate with pictures.

I also think that we're going to start a photo blog for our photography company that will be hooked up to the website. It'll showcase our latest clients and talk a little or probably a lot about how much I am LOVING this new job. But for now I would like to show you some very special babies...

Ode to pictures...unedited

So, I'm learning all about gentility (that's a word right?). I've always admired gentle women. I've known a few. I don't consider myself to be someone that would be lumped into the 'gentle' category. I actually think 'bull in a china shop' fits the bill in my case. In high school I was the over-bearing loud one that craved attention. In college I decided that I needed to reinvent, or at least stop pretending to be OK with that stereotype. So I worked towards meekness and just getting lost in the crowd. I didn't. I don't think. I was still loud, sometimes obnoxious and always at every 'party'(or maffia game that was under the guise of said party). My 'timidity' or 'meekness' was lost in the shadows of my loud personality, to say the least.

Now that I'm a mom I'm realizing that I don't need to necessarily conform into a timid or quiet gal. Wouldn't it be a treasure to lump meekness and gentleness in amongst some of my other more dominant traits? I mean, I'm really not that loud anymore (minus the occasional maffia game, or charades...or just loud games in general) and I don't think I'm that obnoxious, though I wouldn't be the best judge of myself.
I've really lost the point to this post.

Oh, I guess all I want to say is that, I like being loud, but I love having my children and husband thinking of me as gentle...a wife who gently loves her husband, a mama who loves and disciplines with a gentle spirit. And can be loud at the occasional hockey game. Or choir concert. HA!

Ashleigh's wedding

Ashleigh with her son who got 'cold feet'

New photos

This is one of my dearest friends' newest baby girl

Elliott Piper. There's about 100 more that I'll be editing, and I really don't have time to do that until Tuesday so maybe I'll post more later....

here's a tasty treat though:

Tired

I think I may have created a monster. I mastered the art of nursing the Chipper while lying down. This meant not a lot of sleep was lost by me or him. He was awake only long enough to get a good latch and then drifted off to la la land easily. I would often wake up in the morning and not remember having fed him, and yet, there he was, content. So, I can only assume that I was too exhausted to wake up at all and feeding him became second nature. Chip is now 6 (and a bit) months old. He sleeps in our bed. He starts out in his, way too small bassinet and by about 2:00 on he's in with us. It's been pretty annoying lately, but I don't know what to do. I can't even fathom sitting up and feeding him. I tried last night, and failed miserably. I remember letting Carson just cry it out at 7 months in the basement with only a baby monitor turned on silent (lights only mode) to hear his cries. I felt guilty about that then, and still do now. I don't know why, but I don't think I could do it to another of my offspring. I'm also going through a pot of coffee a day to stay awake because my sleep is so disrupted by a kicking, scratching, cooing, sometimes playful, sometimes upset wee little babe. Any suggestions? I'm open to anything.

In other news, I've gone through almost everything we own and taken what I don't think is practical out to be put in a yard sale. (June 8th, 130 Algonquin, if you're interested)So *all* I have left to do is pack what's left. Any tips of where to start? I have a little less than three weeks and don't want to rush the packing and live like campees too prematurely. But, I don't want to be rushed at the end either. hmmmmm

God is teaching me a lot about myself. I would say that the past four years has really been culminating to this point, and I'm sure in 10 years, I'll say the same thing (and in 20 and 30). Either way, God has been slowly preparing me to be able to handle the situation that we're in. To most, it probably seems puny but to me it was monumental. In days gone by I would have totally lost all sensible reason and become the woman you wished only existed in horror movies. I don't deal with change or stress or unkowns well at all. This past week we've gone from being homeowners to house hunters, to bidding war participants to crazy kijiji house hunters and finally...home owners again (providing all conditions are met). Yes, we found a house. Yes, I found it on kijiji. Yes, it's totally legit. Yes, it's only of God.

My dream of living in an old character home is coming true. And I will be neighbors with my anatomy professor....and Nik only knows that she's a celebrity to me. *edit* Nik just told me that she was a celebrity to all of Thunder Bay. Haha, we joked tonight that we wanted the house the second we heard that she'd be living next door. This will be the home that Fiorito Foto will reside and hopefully flourish. It will be the house that we will have another baby. It will be where our home is.

But, above all these things, this will be the home where God lives. My prayer is that His name will be on the lips of all who reside there. Maybe our children will choose to follow Him there. Maybe others will be lead to the throne of Grace on 430 Ambrose St. I am so full of hope for this house, our home.

A little modeling by my good friend and.....voila!

WWW.FIORITOFOTO.COM

I'm really not that great at blogging, but for the 2 of you that read this, I thought I'd post some pictures of my littlest wonder, Chip at 5 months. These were taken just this afternoon!

I'm not one to usually do this, I anonymously follow others blogs with the hopes that no one finds out that I'm a cyber stalker. But I feel so burdoned and sad for this family. Please pray with me.

Tea Time With Mama Dana

I have been debating whether or not to write this for some time as it frightening at how revealing it could be. I argued that I would write it ‘anonymously’, but after consideration, I’m thinking it would be pretty obvious as to who wrote it. So, with no pen name to hide behind, a shaky hand and a humble heart, I will write about what God has been revealing to me ever since “mother” became a word to describe me.
It was March 21, 2005 when we found out about Finn. I was very surprised and naively excited. I romanticized motherhood in my head and dreamt about cute smiles, sweet baby smells and wonderful snuggles. It wasn’t until I was met, head on, with a fussy baby who seemed like he wanted nothing to do with me that I realized my life had just made a drastic change. It’s not like I didn’t expect a change, but like I said, I naively expected a gentle alteration. Being faced with a baby who seemed resentful of me stirred up many emotions within me. The most predominant feeling: the one that has stuck with me ever since, and has diligently reared its ugly head at me on more than one occasion over the past three years-guilt.
It seems innocent enough, isn’t the feeling of guilt sometimes a good thing for a child of God to experience? Doesn’t it mean that we acknowledge a sin or wrong doing and are convicted by it which would/should lead to repentance? This is what I though, and so, everytime I felt guilt, I though that the guilt was a result of sin in my life.
To give you some kind of insight here are a few examples: I felt guilty when I didn’t sit on the floor all day with Finn when he was a 6 months old or stimulate him with intricate crafts and flannel boards when he turned two. When he was just a baby, I felt guilty that he was having a hard time with nursing and I felt especially guilt stricken when we turned to formula when he was just three months old. And when I introduced another baby and needed some extra help around the house, I felt guilty for not pulling my weight and for somehow being a bad wife by not letting my hubby ‘unwind’ when he came through the door. And now that I have older children who interact with the world around them, I struggle with guilt when they show less than Christ-like qualities and selfishly fight over a toy with another child : I mean, after all, I’m their mother and should have taught them how to behave better, right?
You see, we can let Satan have a foothold in many areas. I have found that being a mother gives him plenty of opportunities to do just that. I struggle everyday with feeling like an adequate mother to these children that God has entrusted me with. And, like I do with my kids, I am trying to get to the heart of these guilty feelings. I would be lying to you, if I didn’t tell you that I know the heart of the issue is pride. I think it’s easy to take pride in our accomplishments, and what greater accomplishment than raising God fearing, loving, gentle and kind children! What we all need to realize is that there can only be pride in Christ, and it is only through Christ that we are able to ‘achieve’ things such as Children who learn to love obedience and follow God. My greatest prayer is that God, in His sovereignty and grace has chosen my children to serve Him. And, if He has chosen them, I can only hope and pray that He uses me to bring Glory to His name in this way. Galatians 6:4 tells us to look at our actions and then rejoice in them if they are glorifying to God. What is my motivation! Father God, may I glorify YOU in being a great mother to these kids. May they see you through me in how I interact with them daily! Bring them into your arms and save them! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

pitty potty

yesterday we tried some of this...




which turned into this...




and ultimately ended like this...

...after the third time he got put on the potty, he threw an absolute fit...even with the delicious bribe! So, I guess we'll save the potty training for another *day*.

Two years and a bit ago, I lost one of my best friends and spiritual mentors. My Auntie Carol was the most Godly woman I have ever met. Full of compassion and grace, she made me want to love God more. She died from a fast growing brain tumor.

I don't think about her death too much, just her life and the impact she had. But today, as I was driving home from a visit with Grandma, with Bob & Larry singing about peanut butter pizzas with anchovies in the back ground, I started to think about the last days leading up to her death. I remembered some of the feelings I had and the questions and the hurt. And as a few tears started brimming around my eyes my now 2 year old, yelled, "HORRAY" and swished his "windshield wipers" and giggled hystarically.

I was pregnant with this little man when I said good bye to Carol for the last time here on earth, and today I was so blessed by my sons life all the while being saddened for the loss of another. But, as I think back on these two totally opposite events I feel so much joy in how God has planned 'life'. One day I will die, and from that day on, I will not know the sting of death or pain or sin. I will dance for joy and glory in my God for eternity. And to think of such things, makes me not so sad that Carol's gone, but more hopeful for the future that we will have together in the Kingdom.

A few photos....for Lola

more to come!!

midwifery

For a long while now (about 3 years)I have taken up a very keen interested in the world of midwifery. Through a special friend I learned about doulas and their roles and decided that this would be a good first step to see if this was a road in which I wanted to go down. So their I was, with a new baby trying to get certified. It took a little while but I did it! I have a doula certificate through Childbirth International though I have yet to use it. It seems that with (now) three kids, I can't find the time to do something that would be mostly volunteer work. I wouldn't make enough to pay for daycare, nor would I want to at this point.

All this being said, I think I want to go back to school. Does that make sense? "No." you say? I know it doesn't, but it sort of does at the same time. You see, in Canada, it takes four years to become a registered midwife. That's four years of school work only one of which you're in a placement with a midwives schedule. So for three years, I'd actually be a student in normal classes. And, my husband has told me that he wants to stay at home while I have class. So, my kids would not be bounced around from person to person or daycare to daycare. I applied to a program last year, but decided to refuse the acceptance because of a surprise baby that would make his appearance in late October. Looking back I see that this was God's timing and I couldn't be happier with how everything has worked out.

I've been preparing my application and will send it in tomorrow. I guess we'll see where this road leads.